Survive life’s uncertainties by perfecting the art of self-mastery

You will never have a greater or lesser dominion than that over yourself...the height of a man's success is gauged by his self-mastery; the depth of his failure by his self-abandonment. ...And this law is the expression of eternal justice. He who cannot establish dominion over himself will have no dominion over others- Leonardo da Vinci

To think oneself powerless in the face of the immensity of the world is a common phenomenon. We have no control over the order of things and from personal lives to politics and from work to social situations, forces bigger than us often decide our positions. An overemphasis on this, however, can lead to overwhelming despair and pessimism and can numb our minds.

Even if there are things more powerful than us, there is something which can keep us afloat despite our limitations— a command over our own selves.

Self-mastery is not just the key to a fulfilling life; it is also an art that keeps the glory of human effort burning bright. What is mastery over the self, after all? Can we truly ever control our internal lives? There is no understanding of self-mastery without exploring these concerns.

Simply put and in short, self-mastery is the ability to control our emotional responses to such an extent that external factors don’t faze us. It is a denial of being at the mercy of circumstances and is a way of taking control of our journeys. Self-mastery comes from a strong sense of the self against the world, alongside an acute awareness of the same self. These are goals that appear deceptively simple and yet remain elusive for most of us. How well can we define ourselves outside the communities we belong to and the social identities we carry? How well do we know what makes us peaceful or bothered and why? Answers to these questions can determine how close we are to mastering our own selves.

Think of the Covid-19 pandemic. Everything everyone had ever known was out of order and we were separated from the familiar ways of life. Death, devastation and delays became most common and immediate, as careers were interrupted and our social cohesion was put to an unprecedented test. Yet, several people made the most out of this predicament and isolation, working on previously unresolved issues to emerge stronger and better prepared for every adversity.

Despite losing control amid a widespread fear, this could be accomplished only because people took control of their emotions and brought out the best their selves could offer.

A story recounted by Laura Neulat from France, reported by the American Psychological Association (APA) exemplifies how to attain self-mastery, one step at a time, against fear.

“When Pedro found out he was being transferred to a Covid-19 ward, he was overcome with fear. A young physiotherapist specialized in orthopedics; he enjoyed working at one of Paris’s largest hospitals. Now he was going to spend his days around Covid-19 patients, who needed breathing therapy after leaving the intensive care unit – holding them in his arms, keeping his face near theirs. […] I encouraged him to focus on feelings of safety. I suggested he carry an index card with a thought that made him feel strong, such as The FORCE is with me! […] Pedro had learned to use mindfulness to regulate emotions and we said he was going to put on his protective equipment in mindfulness, focusing on every piece of equipment and telling himself, This cap keeps me safe, etc. Once all geared up, he would tell himself, I am safe. I feel at times we as psychologists must be able to afford flexibility with our boundaries. […] At the end of his first day in his new role he texted me: I have just finished my day, it all went all right, I felt strong.”

This is the essence of self-mastery as even if a complete control of the self is not possible and we cannot always afford to be in control, constantly reminding ourselves of what matters to us can keep us approaching a mastery of the self. Hence, self-mastery is not a goal but a process and an ongoing quest we must keep soldiering on.

Life is too short to be spent in the tyranny of fear and despair. A happy and emancipated life, against grand forces can only be led through the very avenue that allows us to access the world– our own selves.

Self-mastery thus is a worthy process which involves changing yourself from within to change your realities. It is an art that makes life bountiful and keeps you in command of your ship, even as you sail through turbulent waters. So, look within, take control and let your mastery self-catapult you to brilliant realms.

(The author is Founder Upsurge Global, Venture Partner Silverneedle Ventures and Adjunct Professor EThames College)